As 2018 wrapped up to a close, I had this burning in my soul to get prepared, to schedule, to organize my life in every area. Y'all I function in a total chaotic world. While my life up til this week was structured like no other- every trip to the grocery store was planned, every stop was made with intention, and I had more things on my to do list than the day had hours. But I made it happen. I was running a start-up, business full-time, homeschooling our teenage son, and taking care of my husband who was non-verbal and a quadriplegic who required 24/7 care, oh and the farm. Thankfully, God sent me Kenzie at just the right time. She is a planner, an organizer, and to say I did it all on my own would be a travesty. That's just not the truth. Without her and the support of my sister (who lives 6 hours away) who would listen to hours of marco sessions (if you don't have the app, do yourself a favor and go download it NOW!), I would never focus. JPF wouldn't be what it is today. And, while we have so much more to grow, I'm so thankful for our first official year that allowed us to sew such strong roots near and far, all over the world.
I was high-strung and ready to blow 2019 out of the water. Joel was so proud of all my hard work and the organization that I had put into place for the new year. And by that I mean, I was on such a kick that we literally have every theme, for every category, for every month of the entire year mapped out. Kenzie and I plan a month in advance in detail, because, well some times, life changes. This past week, we implemented a dream board challenge, that was planned while Joel was in surgery. Honestly, it was my distraction while he was put under to correct his double vision. I was a little on edge about this surgery, certainly more than any other (but I'll tell the whole story of his last days soon, so stay tuned and pray for the word for me). Now, having walked through the darkest days of my life, I am so glad we planned in advance. I've never been so intentional about our life- whether in business or in our family life. Now, I realize the need for that kind of structure. I long to get back into that, and thankfully with these systems I'm walking you through, I am well on my way to getting into a new normal and a new consistency, despite our circumstances.
I hope you find yourself inspired, equipped, and empowered by these tid bits of what scheduling looks (and looked) like for my family. You'll see a reflection of all the things we've been teaching this month in this post. Feel free to reach out if you need any further guidance.
Step #1: Values
I think, before you start anywhere else, you have to know your target. What are you aiming for? What are you working to prioritize in your life personally, relationally, and in your family?
My personal values are:
1. Intentional growth
2. Me Time
3. Creativity
4. Organization
5. Friendship
If something comes up and it doesn't suit my core values, I need consider "Is it worth my time?" "Am I sacrificing something that means more to me by saying 'yes' to this."
For our family, personally, our values look like this (in no particular order):
1. Cooking
2. Quality Time
3. Planning/Scheduling
4. Fun and Laughter
5. Growth
One of my favorite all time quotes is
"Saying 'No' to something is saying 'Yes' to something greater."
There is no truer time than this as I step into being my son's sole provider and role model. I have to remember that as his Mama.
Read the full blog on 5 Life-Changing Values here.
Step #2: Daily Intention
In case you aren’t familiar with the Start Today Journal:
Rachel Hollis, the creator of theChicSite.com, motivational speaker, and New York Times Best Selling author of Girl Wash Your Face created this journal based on her own journey that led her to make her dreams a reality. She starts everyday by reflecting on 5 things she's grateful for and then she writes out 10 dreams, as if she is living them in present tense.
You can catch the entire Start Today Instructional here on her podcast for FREE! Rachel will walk you through the entire book, so you just need to grab a journal, any journal and get to dreaming
Read the entire blog on the Start Today Dream Challenge here.
Here I walk you through Steps #1-2 LIVE.
Step #3: Routines
Now, based on those values and the trajectory of your goals, you can develop routines that support them.
Monthly Things:
Y'all have heard me rant all month long about this awesome tool you can download and print called The Habit Tracker. If you haven't, I'm sorry. I firmly believe it is the small tasks that hold us accountable for reaching or not reaching our goals. This month, Freddie, Joel and I all set out to compete for who had the best record of completing their goals. These are small, really tiny, things that reflect your values, your dreams, and create intentional habits in your life to conquer bigger things. Each month, you can change it up, if you'd like. We make it a friendly competition to choose a fun, family activity and meal (and dessert of course). This month, after we lost Joel, Freddie and I had to give ourselves grace. Our trackers are blank from the 17th on, but as of today, we are back at it! And mostly because he's been nagging me. Oh what a blessing my boy is!
Weekly Things:
Let's be real- I need a chore list as much as my son does. I need to be able to tackle things weekly, daily, for the good of my family. I realized in creating a routine for my kid, I too needed one. I have a list of things that happen on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and so on. Saturdays are yard work days, so my boy and I can get our hands dirty together. Fridays he sweeps, so I can mop Saturday morning, in case we have guests over. Regardless, these stay the same week-to-week. This means that it's expected that Sundays in our house are Planning Days- it's set, we know it's coming and we can all sit down together and look forward to what's ahead for the coming week. Everyone is on the same page and knows meal plans, appointments, travel plans, pick up and drop off plans, etc.
In learning about kids from tough places, our adoption/foster care training taught us that kids thrive in structure. Now that we have been faced with another tough road to walk, I realize how much that structure and consistency was craved and helpful to my kiddo. Don't get me wrong, he hated it at first. Some (no names) thought I was too strict or too hard. But, as we have journeyed the past few weeks, even before we lost Joel, I saw how much my kid really loves to know what to expect and what is expected of him every-single-day. He thrives in that place.
Daily Things:
I love this One Line a Day Journal, which keeps a memory from each day for 5 years. Each year, you can reflect on your growth in the big things and little things in life. Joel, Freddie, and I just started this and we would teach take something significant from the day and write it down in this family journal .
Routine Roles:
I think it's important to know your role. Every week I do the shopping and initiate the family meeting. But it's a family thing. Joel and Freddie knew that they had the responsibility to think of meals prior, Freddie is able to add to the list from his phone during the week, and it's a group effort. Everyone has a role. It's a team effort.
Step #4: Choose Your Focus
Toss your to-do list. I know this sounds crazy, right? I'm serious when I say that traditional to-do lists cause me anxiety and disappointment. I LOVE crossing things off, but I rarely celebrate the things I cross off. I leave them for done and then it's on to the next thing. I think there's something to be desired there.
I firmly believe that when you can focus on one single thing, you can do that thing well. I'm no superwoman, contrary to popular opinion. I've just learned that I have to focus where I'm at. So, take one goal from those big dreams of yours and focus your attention on it. The others will follow suit, oh so naturally. Take time to CELEBRATE the things you accomplish. If you can implement one of these systems into your busy life, it may relieve your mind of remembering one more thing and help you not worry about the 20 other things that didn't get done. Be grateful of what you did do, instead of what you didn't. That's what I'm learning.
Pst... I'm also working on a business system that will help you put this into practice for your small business or for your personal life. It will help you organize your dreams, your goals into daily, weekly, and monthly do-able strategies that work for you! Stay tuned!
Summary: A Cohesive System that Works
What I don't want you to miss here is that each of these things compliments the other. The values (step #1) determine your dreams and goals (step #2). Your dreams and goals should be reflected in your daily and weekly routines (step #3). Your focus (step #4) for each system you put into place should reflect your values (full circle back to step #1).
Today marks the first day you can purchase then entire printable Personal Development System in our market! You get 3 Value charts for you personally, your marriage, and your family, the 12 Month Habit Tracker set, the Weekly Things Chart, the Meal Planning System and a Monthly Review Chart for just $15! Here's a sneak of some of the things include
Bonus: A Peek into our Family Scheduling
How We Do Meal Planning
Y'all know that food is a BIG deal in the Jackson home. Because organization is important and necessary to our life, it is important to us to plan our meals. My boys don't like leftovers. So, for us, meal prep is out of the questions. It just doesn't work for my family. And I'm ok with that. I loved cooking all the recipes Joel challenged me with and we have an endless supply of new things to try, always from him watching cooking shows non-stop. I loved to cook, but I was losing the joy for it, by planning something the day of. I was over it. It would be 1 o'clock in the afternoon and Joel wouldn't have his mind made up. Something had to give. He started writing out recipes he would watch on TV and sending them to me as we sat down as a family and planned out our meals a full week in advance on Sunday nights.
This beautiful meal planning system was created by our good friend Jenna. You can purchase her entire Meal Planning System through the JPF Market and download it to use instantly! I love that it includes a list to write down go-to meals when you get stuck and then you can even break down the breakfast, lunch and dinner meals for each person or for those who are home or going to work or school. I feel like this is a great way to start planning for one or many!
Confession: I have a love-hate relationship with Pinterest. I have a business account and a personal account. I don't get notifications. I lose things on those boards and I can never remember the names exactly that they call things. I realized the smart thing would be to print them out once we agreed to put it on the meal calendar. YES! Y'all I'm serious, this worked! I would print the recipes on Monday and search to make sure I had what I needed and if not, make a note and add it to the grocery list. Ok confession, I found the Walmart Grocery App and I'm hooked. I was a Publix snob, but let's be real, Mama ain't got time for that and they charge way too much for my budget. It also kept me from over-buying or splurge shopping while hungry going down the aisles. I make sure everything is added to my cart on Wednesday. Everyone knew there was a Thursday night cut off (you have until 1:45am the night before your designated pick-up time) and there was no line on Friday morning when I'd arrive to pick up my groceries- they know when you arrive based on your GPS! Praise!!! Try it! I guarantee you'll be hooked.
Here's a Free $10 off your first Walmart Grocery Pick Up! ;)
Wearing All the Hats
Mama, I know it's tough to wear all the hats. I realized a few weeks back, I needed set business hours (yes, I've realized this before, but it's become apparent again as I was balancing everyone all at once), because I work from home and I need to focus on my family and be PRESENT when it's time to work and when it's time to be Mom and Wifey (I'm still trying to process this one in my new role). My job is very important. JPF is literally what will sustain Freddie and I from here forward. I am determined to make sure of that. Maybe you don't own a business, but maybe it's hard to find time for YOU, time for your spouse, time to be Mom and only those things at those times. But I think finding a time for everything is key. Schedule yourself some designated time to wear each hat well.
How We do Homeschool:
We chose an unconventional path to homeschool Freddie. It's certainly been something that I've had on my heart for years, but I also imagined that I would be starting our kids young. That's not the case, but homeschool was a great option for us because he needs the extra one-on-one attention that he lacked in previous years that have held him back from achieving his goals because of circumstances in foster care and his prior home life. I'm still working on this, but I used to try and lesson plan on Sunday nights. I'm switching that up to Fridays, because our Family Planning Days are quite full. I figured after work on Friday, I could sit down, look over the previous week and plan with a clear head for the week to come. We use a virtual system called Time4Learning for his Language Arts and Math, free online typing lessons, a Florida required Civics program that covers the same exact curriculum as our public schools use (y'all at the rate we are going computers are going to end up teaching our kids everything), and Joel was doing Christian Reading with him in a series called The Prince Warriors by Priscilla Shirer, and I coupled that with extra vocabulary from the reading, and occasional grammar and writing, and we have been working on some education about gardening and soil, some practical food and science things.
Our school schedule runs Monday through Thursday and if he completes it all, his reward is a long weekend. He starts at 9:30am, after breakfast, a shower, and his devotional Unseen by Priscilla Shirer. I have to take a moment and say that implementing a designated time for my kiddo to have his own quiet time with God has been the most influential piece of getting him to open up. This is a 14-year old teenager with zero church background. And while explaining some things that seem off the wall to a first time hearer, allowing him to read, write out or fill in the blanks of God's Word, and asking him real life questions has helped us. And it's apart of his routine that he covets. If I forget to do it or get off my routine, he calls out on it. And it's a way for me to stay accountable as well to staying in the Word. We are on day 140 something now and we have grown and so has his relationships and understanding of who God is and whose he is and God's purpose for his life. It also helps us talk privately about big topics that my kid has never talked with a therapist about and allowed him to open up in his own time.
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Let's do this,
Lauren
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