It's the first Monday of 2019 and I'm pumped. I'm not exactly a resolution maker, but I am a go-getter. I am a dreamer. I don't have a list of 10 things I want to accomplish THIS YEAR... why? Well because to me, resolutions have always seemed cheesy. I'm pretty content with who I am and comfortable in my own skin. I've always been this way. Not because of how much I weigh or that my skin complexion is 10 times lighter than the average caucasian woman, unkissed by the sun. It's because I feel in my soul, in my bones that I love myself (and maybe you aren't there, but just hold tight) and I'm pretty easy going when it comes to accepting life as it hands it to me. Now, that's not to say that I don't long for better, the best version of me. I do. It's just that I don't need 10 more things to add to my daily list for me to fail and feel like a failure. I need someone to cheer me on and tell me I'm doing a good job (can I get a hoot and holler from all the people whose love language is words of affirmation?)!
By now you're wondering where the world I'm going with this, right? This month and in the coming year, JPF is devoted to giving you tools for you and your family to not only aim, but thrive. We want you to savor the good moments, cheer you on when a goal becomes a habit, and help guide you in creating and setting you up for the life you want. Some of these tools will be free. Some will be products we have bought into and recommend. Some are things we have partnered with others and we use ourselves- because they work- no gimmicks and games. Everything we are giving you is doable- one step at a time. You can implement them one at a time (which I recommend), collectively as a couple or a family (double points), or just pick the ones that interest you and try them out. This isn't a program we are selling for $99 a new life. This is a constant, intentional journey to the lifestyle you desire. No one-size fits all or most. This is unique to you and your life.
So... let's begin!
I told you I have no resolutions for this year. Crazy, right?!
"Resolutions are cheap. Resilience is priceless." - Steven Furtick
When my Pastor said those words in our New Years Eve service I shouted from my bed. Yes!
That's precisely why I'm not going to talk goals for the year. Don't fret, I have dreams, but some of those I am realistic about and know they don't need a timeline. Timelines are created and then you have two options- you win or you fail based on your perception of accomplishing that goal in the allotted time. I don't know about you, but for me, I could get lost in aimlessly pursuing 10 things on a list for the year.
Instead I want you to consider where you are now. Each of these steps will help you create a value system tailored specifically to your beliefs and priorities. Now... each person should have a set of personal values (you and only you), each romantic relationship or marriage should have it's own set of values (from here on out I will refer this category as "marriage" for the sake of less confusion), and each family should have a list of things that are important to your family unit. So, one by one, tackle each of those separately. Depending where you are in life, you may have up to 3 value systems: Personal Values, Marriage Values, and Family Values.
*Keep in mind that these values change with transition and seasons. They flex or grow, depending on your stage of life. So, they aren't written in pen, so to speak (however I do recommend writing in pen, just print off another sheet when they change).
A. Define your stage of life:
1. Envision your CURRENT stage of life: Where are you personally? Where is your marriage? Where is your family? Maybe your knee deep in laundry, sitting in the floor with little monkeys, I mean children, hanging from your shoulders. Maybe you're an empty-nester who is finding the quietness of home daunting.
2. Complete the following sentence for where you are NOW (and yes, I stole this from my pal Rach at the Hollis Co., so if you're fan, you're in for a treat): "I am at my best when I am ________." "We are at our best when ______." I am best when I am rested. I am by best when I am motivated. I am best when I am creative. We are at our best when we are laughing. We are at our best when we are not distracted. We are at our best when we are focused. We are at our best when we are not rushed.
B. Pinpoint your success:
When you are at your best, why are you there? How did you get there? What is making you most proud? What things are you implementing to manifest that result? Are you intentional about certain things- health, quality time, putting a schedule into place, when our calendar has blank space.
C. Determine 5 values for your life:
Write out your values as bullet points. Keep them short. Truly you can have 3, 5, 7, no rules, I just chose 5. Whatever they are, these are the things that ARE already priorities or things you WANT to make priorities for in your life (some of these may overlap with your family or marriage values and some may look completely different than your spouse).
For me, personally, my values look like this (in no particular order):
1. Intentional Growth
2. Me Time
3. Creativity
4. Organization
5. Friendship
For Joel and I, personally, our values look like this (in no particular order):
1. Intentional Growth
2. Quality Time
3. Good Health
4. Conversation
5. Intimacy
For our family, personally, our values look like this (in no particular order):
1. Cooking
2. Quality Time
3. Planning/Scheduling
4. Fun and Laughter
5. Growth
We need to see these somewhere written out. We need to be reminded of them. We are developing a tool, a value chart that you can use to display on your fridge, in your cubicle, or in a place you will regularly see them, so you're reminded of the things that matter to you, your marriage, and your family. Stay tuned!
D. Reflect and take a look in the mirror:
Figuratively speaking, look in the mirror and test those values. How are you doing? Does your time spent reflect your values? Or are there things that are robbing you of grasping the life you want for yourself? If so, great! If not, the tools our team will be showing you this month will help get you there, I promise!
E. Build in your accountability:
1. Daily: The habits you have and the things you spend your time on should be a reflection of the values you have in your life. They should be very small tasks you want to implement daily to make sure you're following through with your priorities. This isn't something "extra". It is literally a tool to help hold you accountable to the things you want to see implemented in your life.
The Habit Tracker tool was designed by my new friend Jenna at Memories by Meyers. You can find it in the JPF Market and download it now!
This is a resource my whole family has fallen in love with because it keeps everyone accountable by the day! You list simple things that you want to do daily to grow (each month you can change your habits, as you make those habits your routine and no longer need to be reminded. You color in a block when that habit has been completed for the day.
We've even made it a little friendly competition in our house. The person with the greatest percentage of their habits completed for the month gets to choose a fun family activity to do (at home or around town- going to the movies, going to the beach), all the meals for the day, and a dessert of their choice for the first day of the next month.
2. Weekly Check-Ins: So, I'll go into further detail about this later in the month when we talk about routines, schedules, meal planning, and all the other goodies, but we have a family meeting every week. We sit down as a family and plan out our week together, talk about all the things coming up on the calendar so there are no surprises (if we can help it), and this is the place we are going to start implementing a check-in. We can see how to build one another up, encourage one another, and well rag on each other if we are slacking (at least in my house- however I'm normally the one that's dropped the ball).
3. Monthly Reviews: Jenna has also created this fun (and beautiful) way to keep everyone accountable. You can do this for each of your value charts: personal, marriage, and family to gauge where you are in the realm of staying accountable to your values.
Want these amazing resources? Just in... Now available for pre-order, we are collaborating with Jenna from Memories by Meyers to bundle these tools for you! You can get then entire Full Personal Development System with the Value Charts (Personal, Marriage, and Family), Habit Tracker (12 months), Meal Planning System and Monthly Review Chart all for just $15!!!! This is crazy y'all! I really believe these tools are going to help change your life. These tools will be delivered to your inbox before the end of the month for you to print from home.
Remember: Your values don't become your values overnight. Maybe you need to figure out what your values have been, change them, add to them.
The blessings you want for your life aren't just going to happen by accident. You will get no where hoping good things will happen to you. You will only achieve what you put real work into. Pull up your bootstraps, It's time to get to work. Be intentional through: Force. Focus. Frequency. That's how you win! Being sure you stay motivated and persistent. Putting those values into focus. And frequently seeking the best version of you, your marriage, and your family.
Happy Prioritizing,
Lauren Jackson
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